Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Adult Braces - An Emerging Trend in Sacramento

I've been here since October. Before 2008 rolled in, I didn't see a single "adult" (person over 21 years old for purposes of our discussion) with braces. Yet, since January 1, I have taken note of at least 2 cases of "adult braces" (person over 21 years old with braces for purposes of our dicussion). This outbreak appears poised to reach pandemic proportions. Yet, should we be alarmed?

I think not.

Although I did just fine as a teenager with teenage braces, individuals with adult braces don't appear to fare as well. While not many people realize this, adult braces leads to an almost immediate reduction in bedroom productivity. This reduction isn't associated with fatigue or disinterest. Patients - those wearing adult braces should definitely be classified as medical patients - are still interested and energetic when the prospect of "bumping and grinding" is raised. But the sad truth is this: girls don't like men with adult braces. Girls can potentially receive a pass if they: a) have a great personality, b) have a great body, or c) just because guys are less selective.

Guys on the other hand are banned to some sort of purgatory on Earth. But speaking of hands, they can always count on their left and their right to rectify erectified situations.

Please report back should you spot another adult male with adult braces. Don't be alarmed, HE won't bite...

And he damn sure won't outblog the 2blog Crew!


sseekatz said...

Man those are some mean braces there.... What 13 year old did you get this picture from?

Rachel said...

I just had my braces put on yesterday and instantly it made me feel like a little girl, i am only 19 but it made me feel a hell of a lot younger and as if i should go back to school! Oh well in 15months time ill be smiling non stop!!

DDR said...

Hope those braces are treating you well Rachel. Keep fighting the good fight.