Thursday, May 14, 2009

Love Me All Summer

I love you. I hate you.

You do this to me every year. A rollercoaster relationship this is indeed. With you I’ve had the best of times and with you I’ve had the worst of times. Tears and smiles. Damning profanity and boastful praise. Polar opposites become one with you.

I hate you. I love you.

Committed I have always been. No question about that. Even when the storm clouds hovered above our city and there didn’t appear to be sunny skies in sight. I believed when I had no business believed. And when those threatening skies receded, I believed because you gave me reason to believe.

I love you.

Yet, you find ways to hurt me. You told me that you wanted more. You told me that you were in pursuit of greatness. Then you back up your lofty words and answer our lofty expectations with a lack of hunger and a lack of intensity.

I hate you.

Nothing pains me more than knowing that we didn’t live up to our full potential. Nothing hurts me more than knowing that someone else may want what we supposedly want more than we do. And now all we have left to prove that the desire for more is still alive is Sunday.

When the day is done there will either be tears sheds or sighs of relief exhaled. I will love you or I will hate you. You will be present in this relationship, or you will run away – leaving me to cope with a summer filled with disappointment over such a tremendous missed opportunity.

I bleed Purple and Gold. Yet, recent play has left me bloodied and bruised. No sooner than you bandage me up and assure me that things will be ok, you do an about face and remind me that it all can be taken away from me in the blink of an eye.

Even if this isn’t our year. Don’t end things like this. Don’t leave me to dream dreams of what could have been.

I love you…

When Sunday comes, let’s try to keep it that way.

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