Saturday, May 23, 2009

How To Work with Black People



The picture doesn't really work so well for this topic. But I thought it was neat - so there it is.

At any rate, I read an interesting article yesterday. The article gives a few pointers about dealing with black people in the workplace.

Here's a recap of the things Diversity Inc identified that should be avoided:

1) You're so articulate

I get this a lot. Apparently my ability to speak English is a pleasant surprise. Probably not a good idea to tell people like me that I'm able to fulfill what is probably the most basic component of my job.

2) Is that your real hair?

This is one that is reserved for women. However, I'll just say this: a large number of non-African American women are wearing weaves these days. Believe nothing that you hear and only half of what you see.

3) "You" people



4) Do you eat a lot of fried chicken? watermelon? etc.?

This is somewhat troubling. But did you know that Asian people love fried chicken, too? Also, I can probably get people to stop saying this so much by not getting visibly excited every time they serve fried chicken at work. You've seen the commercials. I'm rocking with Kentucky Grilled Chicken moving forward.

5) Why are you so angry?

Angry people come in all shapes and sizes. Some of the angriest people I know listen to heavy metal rock music. I may be a little emo on occasion, but I'm not angry.

6) Why are you acting white?

To that I say, what does it mean to act black???

7) You don't sound black over the phone

No. I sound like a phone sex operator over the phone. Thank you very much.

8) I don't think of you as black

I certainly think of you as whatever you are. There's no denying this amazing tan I'm rocking ladies and gentlemen.

9) You graduated from where?

Stanford. What did you think I was going to say? The School of Hard Knocks?

10) The N-word

DON'T LET IT HAPPEN. YOU AREN'T ALLOWED TO SAY IT. YOU NEVER WILL BE. I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE SAYING IT. NO EXCEPTIONS TO THE RULE. NONE. ZERO. ZILCH.

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