Monday, February 2, 2009

Legislation Nation



I'm way late on this. Or maybe I already discussed this. But I must say that I'm a bit of a rebel. Some might call me a renegade. Others still might call me a delinquent with no respect for the laws that hold our society together. But so be it.

Many laws pass in the State of California. However, none of them are quite as frustrating as the legislation that has forced me to resign myself to singing at uncomfortably high levels when driving alone in my car.

Presently, I have a cheap ass phone from Verizon. This wannabe-smartphone doesn't have a headset. And no, I didn't set up Bluetooth. Therefore, when I want to talk on the telephone, I'm forced to use the speaker phone option. But when using this option, I still hold the phone in my right hand while maneuvering my vehicle with the left. Now that isn't hands free now is it?

And then to put even more icing on this cake baked in the depths of hell, January 1, 2009 marked the first day on which it would be illegal for me to send text messages while driving. How ridiculous is it for lawmakers to think that it is unsafe for me to avert my eyes from the road while writing romantic quips such as: "Ill still c u 2nite even tho ur mad abt me missing ur bday, rite?? 143, -D." I'm the King of Text Messaging. I seriously can respond to a text message before I even receive an incoming message. I type on my keypad that fucking fast.

But nooooo, California's legislators think that's unsafe. Thanks a lot guys.

Next thing you know they'll say that we can text while walking. Then they'll ban the use of cell phones in gyms (which may be a good thing). Further still, they'll ban the use of any electronic devices in restaurants and at private dinner tables. One thing will lead to another and quicker than a hop, skip and a jump all non-smartphones will be outlawed outright. As we continue to move forward in this police state commonly referred to as no-Callifornia, don't be surprised if our use of personal electronic devices continues to be weighed down by arguably useless pieces of legislation.

And just so the powers that be know how discontent I am, I'll say this: I still jaywalk every time I get a chance to. All cities; small, medium, or large. And now when I jaywalk I send really complex text messages to my friends that I know are driving at that very moment. In fact, these messages are so complex that after reading them they will be forced to call me. Haha, your plans are foiled again lawmakers. Foiled again.

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