Thursday, September 25, 2008
A phone conversation between McCain and Obama
JM - Wow, this darn economy is really putting a good licking on the American people.
BO - Agreed. We should probably say something about it.
JM - I don't think most people like the bailout. So I guess I dislike it too.
BO - Yeah, that's probably the safest route to take.
JM - Let's use the whole "we aren't Democrats or Republicans" spiel.
BO - Oohhh, can we throw in a little Bush bashing too?
JM - Of course, because Americans don't want more of the same.
BO - ............
JM - They want change...
BO - Ha, got your Johnny. Stop jocking my style grandpa.
JM - Don't worry, you'll lose your jump shot the moment you enter the White House.
BO - Did you just concede defeat?
JM - Stop twisting my words.
JM - So are you ready for the debates?
BO - More ready than ever.
JM - I was afraid you'd say that. But let's go ahead and cancel it.
BO - Are you crazy?
JM - We need to focus on the bailout.
BO - Are you afraid of debating me?
JM - I'm a maverick.
BO - And I'm experienced. You can just shoot from the hip. Americans love that stuff.
JM - You're right. But it isn't the right thing to do.
BO - Correct. Losing to me in a debate isn't the right thing to do.
JM - I'm suspending my campaign?
BO - WTF?
JM - The Palin Boost is fading. Some Pakistani guy tried to hit on her today.
BO - Yeah, I got hit on all the time while working as a do-nothing community organizer.
JM - This isn't a joke. We have to postpone the debate.
BO - Hold the line, Dubya is calling.
JM - Hold the line? Is this related to that call waiting thing they invited a few years back?
BO - Sorry about that John, I've got to take this call. I think Dubya wants to chat with me about the economy.
JM - Why in the hell did he call you first?
BO - Don't worry, he told me to tell you that Dick would give you a call as soon as you cleared the line.
JM - Well now. This is almost as awkward as when I got asked that Viagra question.
BO - Keep yourself busy until he calls. Go somewhere and count your cars and homes or something like that.
JM - Good idea Barack.
BO - Bye John.
JM - Bye Barry.