Monday, July 21, 2008

The VJay Theory

Here's a guest post from my buddy Devin. He has an interesting take on women and their mating rituals. After hearing him speak once at a convention (read: in my living room) I instantly became a believer. Let me know what you think...

At last, the vjay theory. In print.

As most know, men want and crave sex at pretty much all points of the day/month/year. This is no secret. We don't know for sure, but women might crave sex the same way we do, but unfortunately they have become trained at keeping those inhibitions hidden and to themselves.

Now, at some point, these guards go down, and these urges are allowed to run rampant like a herd of mustangs. Giddiup. While these times may seem completely and utterly random, there is a rhyme and reason to these events; the following is meant as a guide to times when a women just wants to be loved and appreciated (and not fifteen minutes of passion on a futon loved).

1: Birthdays: Everybody loves their birthday, gifts are thrown at you, everybody sings for you, you just want to be loved. What better way to end the day/night/early morning.

2: Valentine's Day: Nothings more annoying than not having that special friend on Valentine's day.

3: Friend's Parties: Most people can get kind of jealous, women too. So if a good friend of a girl is having a special event (Birthday, Going Away Party) where attention, praise and love is showered on her, the friend may feel the need to one up the girl (unlike the first two, which are always true, this one depends on the group dynamic, but there is always at least one girl like this in each group). Once that friend wants to one up the girl, subconsciously or not, the door is open.

4. Changes in Weather days: This mostly applies to winter but works for summer as well. Generally when the weather changes quickly, people are unsure of what to do with themselves. They may get angrier, they may become depressed, and they may throw caution to the wind and let their natural urges take over.

5. Sunday Best Days: Anytime a girl is out trying to look their Sunday best: legs waxed, toe nails glossed, eyebrows plucked (Prom, Weddings)...well you know the rest.

Five Perfect times to woo that special woman...while her inhibitions are down. Giddiup

2 comments:

Josh J said...

Giddyup...so Devin.

Tizz said...

Devin says Giddyup often...in the bedroom.