Tuesday, June 3, 2008

True Players Want to Get Caught

Dear Bill,

Why deny these accusations?

The bid for the nomination is over. And this is merely a testament to your pimpin’ abilities. I mean seriously, how in the world did you pull Gina Gershon?


Pssss, who am I kidding? You’re such a charismatic man. If you asked to sleep with me I’d probably say yes.

But yeah, your timing was a bit poor. Were you honestly out there on the campaign trail whoring yourself out and expecting not to get caught?

Part of me hopes these stories are truth. But the better part of me hopes that they aren’t.

You call the guy a scumbag and he goes and tells the world who you’re supposedly boning. Pimpin’ ain’t easy Bill. But snitching surely is.

The timing of this all may very well make things easier for Hillary. She can call a press conference and ditch her presidential bid and you in one fell swoop. That would be priceless…

But no, really, congratulations on being a freak in the sheets. This latest scandal puts Monica Lewinsky to shame. You should try for Jessica Simpson next. Although, be warned, I hear her father is a pain in the ass.


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