Sunday, June 29, 2008

Seafoam Green Panties

As I sit here, winding down from what proved to be a whirlwind of a weekend, there is still one loose end that has yet to be tied. I left work early on Friday in anticipation of the chaos that would surely ensue. Yet, nothing could have prepared me for the discovery that I made on Saturday morning. With liquor still in my system I stumbled across a pair of mystery panties. At this very moment, I am looking at those panties as they sit beneath my video camera (which is only coincidentally mounted on my tripod at the foot of my bed, but that's another story for another day).

You may have gleaned from this entry's title that those orphaned panties just happen to be seafoam green.

Now don't get me wrong, under normal circumstances I would love to wake up after a night of partying to find that a pair of panties were left of my floor. Previous Friday night encounters followed by early morning departures have bequeathed similar interestingly colored undergarments as well. However, those prior trysts involved physical motioning that required the removal of such attire. For one reason or another, none of that physical motioning transpired on Friday night.

Perhaps I should backtrack a bit and provide the context which has still bogglingly left me without a clue as to who actually owns/owned this thong. An out of control pre-party intentionally erupted in my place of residence. I partook in many alcoholic beverages and burgeoning drunken conversations. Yet, all the while I diligently kept a watchful eye on the hallway leading to my bedroom. While I was on the premises, there were no entries into my bedroom that were not accounted for. And while some may pass judgment, none of those entries were made by persons of the opposite sex...

Unfortunately, I was not the last one in my apartment as the pre-party drew to a close. While finagling my way into a trendy nightclub in the Downtown Sacramento area and partying the night away, my room was left unguarded and utterly vulnerable to panty bandits.

Despite the lack of physicality involved in my Friday night sleepover, I'm quite sure that my guest was aware of these panties with no crotch to call home in site. I'm also quite sure that the individuals present at the event that I felt comfortable questioning on the matter were telling the truth when they said that they wore their own panties home on Friday night. In fact, the one other female that utilized my room as a changing station had an eyewitness that provided an alibi for her panties between the hours of 10 PM and 9 AM - which is when the finding was made.

At this rate, it looks like the owner of the panties will never be identified. But at the end of the day, unidentified panties on your bedroom floor are never a good thing. If any panties are shed I feel that I should play an integral role in authorizing the owner of the panties to do so. And if women continue to feel the need to leave their sexy time attire in my bedroom, I will have to continuously leave my mounted video camera running to monitor such activities. It is my sincere hope and wish that the next time, the bandit will pick a more appealing color like red, purple or royal blue. This seafoam green shit is for the birds.

1 comment:

MKNG1tHappen said...

dude... your ads now say "teen girls underwear" that is so wrong!