Monday, June 16, 2008

Ritzy Wedding Bash at The Ritz

Most of the images included on this site are merely random results produced by random Google searches. However, the image featured above was the result of a very specific, targeted search. You see, this past Saturday I spent the better part of my evening attending a wedding at the Ritz Carlton at Dana Point in Southern California. With the ceremony conducted on an outside lawn overlooking the Pacific, the event was nothing short amazing.

And no, I wasn't attending the wedding of some A-List Hollywood movie star or some dude that plays for the San Diego Chargers. This was simply the wedding of two young professionals in love.

As if the ambiance were not enough, the reception had many more surprises in store for the guests that traveled from near and far to attend the gala. Staff walking around with fruit kabobs was not enough. Instead, attendees were treated to an open wine and beverage bar while being served fried catfish nuggets. This was all topped off by a dinner consisting of fried chicken, spare ribs, macaroni and cheese, yams and greens. Needless to say, I was at a Black wedding...

Furthermore, the night's musical selections beckoned upon a time when my parents were just coming of age. The newest song played all night was the Cupid Shuffle - and even that's a song that is popular amongst the older heads. After about 3 variations of the electric slide, it had become evident that the Ritz had never seen a party like the one I was attending.

As my night drew to an end, I remember walking out of the hotel and thinking to myself that I had just experienced a fairytale wedding. All things went according to plan and the love shared by the bride and groom was quite evident. My night didn't have a single flaw until I realized that I had to pay 15 fucking dollars for what I thought was "complimentary" valet parking service. After paying the fee, I cut off my nose to spite my face by tipping the valet 5 bucks when she brought my car around. I had to keep up appearances to let folks know that I belonged at the Ritz. Yet, I digress...

My wedding experience left me with a few critical takeaway points:
1) weddings are expensive
2) chicks dig guys that can dance
3) weddings are really expensive
4) chicks are all about weddings
5) Saturday was just the beginning of what will be a seemingly endless string of weddings
6) my first wedding will be really inexpensive because it will only be a trial run
7) my second or third wedding will be the one that really breaks the bank
8) my hormones suggested that either i'm a) ready to get married or b)really fond of what happens on wedding night

And I forgot to mention - I looked frickin' amazing that night. Also, I spent half an hour talking to a senior citizen about the wonders of viagra and the ills of marriage.

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