Tuesday, June 24, 2008

The Amazing Paper Chase

For the time being, pay no attention to the weapons featured in the image above. I have yet to decide whether or not I will be using them as a tool during my pursuit for riches. However, I did officially decide - about 5 minutes ago, after reading this article - that I am fully committed to becoming a millionaire. I mean, why not? If there are already millions upon millions of millionaires in the world, what is one more going to hurt? Especially if its me?

Yes, I will be one of those obnoxious rich guys that take pictures of themselves and their family and friends with their money.

And yes, I will also be the guy that constantly reminds people that I am rich and have no intention of sharing my money with anyone else.

Plus, I'll also be the guy who voted Democrat while poor, but votes Republican while rich.

And it's a given that I'll be the guy that sits in the front row at concerts and basketball games hoping that the camera finds itself focused on me while sweat from P. Diddy's brow lands firmly on my forehead while he's performing.

As the ultimate symbol of my wealth, I will name my son Andrew, my daughter Benjamin-a and my dog Abraham. (note to reader - I hate dogs, but rich people have to have them)

Trust me folks, I'll do all of the things that are millionaires are supposed to do. I'll be the best millionaire that I can possibly be. And to ensure that I reach my goal I am prepared to step on as many backs and break as many necks as possible.

Shortly, I will be on the road to wealth. Until then, I'm still a big fan of credit cards! Haven't you ever heard of deficit spending people????

PS - While I won't literally break necks and/or backs, I am more than willing to break a few fingers or sprain a few ankles.

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