Monday, March 24, 2008

Best Look of the Day - Of Course I Inhaled...



Did New Yorkers' haste to pass judgment on Spitzer result in the opening of Pandora's Box?

For the sake of California, a state that is currently being ruled by The Terminator, I sure hope so. At the very least we will be in a clear lead when it comes to being the morally superior "blue state." And given ear eagerness to go green, we'll probably have cleaner air too. But I digress...

David Paterson has already admitted that both he and his wife had extramarital affairs. I, for one, believe that their joint admission amounted to nothing more than a politically correct way of saying that they're swingers. I tip my hat to both of them for their daringly devious sexual preferences.

But now it appears that he was dumping a bit of weed and coke onto the table before these hypothetical, yet probable, group sex parties really kicked into high gear.

Now don't get me wrong. I have nothing against weed and coke. In fact, I'm a silent supporter of the movement to legalize marijuana. Even if it is only for the sake of appeasing the Jamaican population in America. Yet, it justs makes you wonder what else this guy has in store. He hasn't even been in office for a month and we're learning more than we ever desired to know about his background. I mean, this was supposed to be the guy that would ride in on his white horse and save New York from the evil ways of Spitzy.

Maybe he's still capable of doing that. Maybe this is all a politically calculated move to diffuse any big scandals before they flare up and slap him in the face. If that's the case, he's probably brilliant. But if there is more in store, New York Republicans may want to silently file their impeachment documents. Because if a story breaks in the near future suggesting that Governor Paterson so much as kicked a dog when he was a teenager or made a mean face at an ugly child while the mother wasn't looking, the Republican watchdogs will be ready, willing and able to pounce.

Be careful David. I'm cheering for you. Your sexual trysts are something that the average, non-politician can aspire too. Given your charisma and bravado, I'm hoping that you'll one day be the president of this country. The White House interns and local DC drug dealers should beware. They haven't seen nothing yet!

And to maintain journalistic integrity comparable to that of my colleagues at CNN and The New York Times, I will casually insert the following language to make you feel just a little bit worse about yourself and your past indiscretions:

Paterson is regarded in New York as a politician of integrity who is capable of building consensus in the capital in Albany after the Spitzer shake-up.

The Patersons have two children.

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