Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Best Look of The Day - Bill Clinton

Dear Bill,

You are one Ballsy man!

In fact, I would go as far as to bet that you have large balls. Melons even. Not one, but two. Beach balls Bill. You are the proud owner of beach balls, not tether balls.

According to the LA Times, your darling wife was in the White House at least 7 times when you found it fit to bump and grind with Monica. How ever did you become so daring? Where did you develop this deep thirst for life, love and cigars? And most importantly, can I be like you when I grow up?

Sure you got caught and everything. But look at how well you've managed. You didn't even have to leave office. You weren't going to allow yourself to become some "Client 9" type of reject who resigned for fear of further humiliation and an endless onslaught from your state's Republican party. You looked straight into the eyes of Americans and told them that you did not have sex with Monica. And after you finished telling them that, you made them realize that a Blow J doesn't count as sexual relations. I would even go as far as to say that Blow Js are only sensual and consensual, not sexual.

While Hillary was meeting and greeting, you were showing Monica your privates in your private study.

While Hillary was at home, Monica was touching your bone while you were on the phone.

I mean, the list goes on and on. Each time was like an adventure for you I'm sure. For fear of being caught, you spaced things out. But that doesn't mean you ever moved to end the relationship. You just kept it coming. And while you were doing that, she was saving it on her dress. One thing led to another and shit hit the fan.

But the takeaway point from this is that you're the man. You have beach ball balls. I aspire to your size, stature and status. We are all but pawns in your world of Presidential Pimping. You are the Grand Puba of political freaks. I could continue praising you until the chickens came home to roost. Or do I mean the hens? Do cows roost?(...)

Also, no longer will I doubt Hillary's Washington credentials. She surely must have been busy doing some pretty important stuff. The White House isn't that big. If she wasn't able to catch you bumping uglies with the ugly intern, she must've been saving America from terrorists and putting food into the mouths of hungry children in Somalia.

By allowing Hillary to run free and save us all, you allowed yourself to run free and pin Monica against the wall, under the desk, on the desk, on the Presidential couch, on the on and so forth.

Thanks Mr. President!

Your number one Man Fan,

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